Let Him Off the Hook?

Brilliant!!

The Economy Is So Bad....

The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

It's so bad, I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

The economy is so bad that CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

The economy is so bad if the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

The economy is so bad Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

The economy is so bad Obama met with three small businesses to discuss the Stimulus Package: GE, Pfizer, and Citigroup.

The economy is so bad parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

The economy is so bad Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

The economy is so bad Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

The economy is so bad the Mafia is laying off judges.

The economy is so bad Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
~~~

All Seven Deadly Sins Committed At Church Bake Sale

Hat tip to The Ironic Catholic, from The Onion.

:D ...enjoy...LOL...

Delicious little saga of trying to keep a step ahead of the devil, and falling down on the job.

QUOTE GADSDEN, AL—The seven deadly sins—avarice, sloth, envy, lust, gluttony, pride, and wrath—were all committed Sunday during the twice-annual bake sale at St. Mary's of the Immaculate Conception Church. In total, 347 individual acts of sin were committed at the bake sale, with nearly every attendee committing at least one of the seven deadly sins as outlined by Gregory the Great in the Fifth Century. UNQUOTE

Tommy Tiernan On the State of the Priesthood

Irish comedian Tommy Tiernan talks about the Mass and the state of the priesthood. This carries an eff-bomb alert "R for language" (for those who might be offended) but it is brilliant. His point about the priesthood needing to look and sound more like John the Baptist definitely waves toward the Eastern clergy, who sport that wild prophet look much more than the Westerners. Made me laugh insanely, anyhow. I like Tiernan's humor.

George Parr on The Economy

Stiff upper lip, and all that, old bean. Very funny satirical skit from George Parr.

"Dodgy debts". Hmmmm...
;)

The Last Laugh - George Parr - Subprime - subtitulos
Uploaded by erioluk

The Onion: Still "America's Finest News Source"

And the funniest.
;D

Bush Calls For Panic

QUOTE WASHINGTON—In a nationally televised address to the American people Wednesday night, President Bush called upon every man, woman, and child to spiral uncontrollably downward into complete and utter panic.

President Bush addresses the nation shortly before shaving his head and soaking the Oval Office in his own urine.
Speaking from the Oval Office, Bush assured citizens that in these times of great uncertainty, the best and only course of action is to come under the throes of a sudden, overwhelming fear marked by hysterical or irrational behavior.

"My fellow Americans, the time for running aimlessly through streets while shrieking and waving our arms above our heads is now," Bush said. "I understand that many of you are worried about your economic future and our situation overseas, and you have every right to be. Yet there is only one thing we as a nation can do in times like these: give up all hope and devolve into a lawless, post-apocalyptic, every-man-for-himself society." UNQUOTE

Red State Update on Sarah Palin's Speech

Eff bomb warning...

QUOTE Tell that to Mitt Romney...you want a White House full of women that fertile? They will birth you some babies. UNQUOTE

LOL

Bubba's Gunrack Bar & Grill on the DNC

From the hinterlands of the American landscape come Jackie and Dunlap.
NOTE: slightly off-color alert- Red State Update is a bit blue :P

Michael Phelps at a VERY Young Age

Hat tip to reddit. Ha!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Paris Hilton For President?

I actually laughed out loud, roared is more like it, at my TV news the other night when they played this hilarious faux ad which Paris Hilton made in response, tongue-in-cheek, to John "Warmonger" McCain's feeble slam on "Pollyanna" Obama, in which he likened Barack to pop tarts Paris Hilton and Brittany Spears. Bikini alert for those sensitive to such things.

How about this for a slogan ~ "Paris Hilton: Change We Can Believe In, Dude".

Too durn funny.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastous Presidency

From The Onion. Full of snarky wholesome goodness.
:D
Grin & bear it...


Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency

JibJab Flick" The Ron Paul Version

ROFL

Papa Ben's Organically Developed 2.0 Novus Ordo

From Creative Minority Report. What can I say, this is utterly brilliant and flipping hilarious. It's been around ten days or so, I'm a bit late in finding it in the blogosphere, so you may have seen it already.

Has anyone sent this on to the Vatican? Cardinal Castrillon Hoyos might like to see this. Bwahahahah, 50% less Bugnini...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

q) Do you know the difference between a liturgist and a terrorist?

a) You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Bada boom bada bing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jackie and Dunlap On Internet Rumors

Hah!

**Profanity and slightly off-color alert ~ But FUNNY! A couple of red state Bubba's take off on internet rumors. Enjoy.

Some Have Hats

"Hearing a nun's confession is like being stoned to death with popcorn."

-Archbishop Fulton Sheen

Agreed: Cede to Feed on Weeds

One of the reasons I have grown to love my adopted state of Nebraska is Roger Welsch. Written when the author was running for local office (County Weed Control Commissioner) here in SE Nebraska on a pro-weed ticket, this is a unique little book. No more herbicides, pesticides, or fertilizer, no more sweaty lawn care... just put some oil and vinegar dressing on that pesky lawn and open it to the neighbors as an all-you-can-eat salad bar! WEED 'EM AND REAP is a light-hearted but informative introduction to the free bounty of wild foods in lawns and woods, prairies and pastures. Even if you have no intentions of brewing up a crock of dandelion wine or tossing a salad of sour dock and purslane, you will enjoy reading Roger Welsch's adventures in the wild world of weedery. We're betting it won't be long before you will be watching roadsides and byways for your own treasure trove of blackberries, morel mushrooms, wild asparagus, or elderberries

Follow Roger as he gathers and prepares wild fare, and soon you, too, will be able to amaze your friends & family by serving up a salad, stew, vegetable, drink, or dessert made from ingredients found within shouting distance of your camp or from the back alleys of your suburb. This fun yet practical guide teaches more about morels, cattails, and smut (the edible fungus kind) than you ever thought possible. There's also information on making wines, jams, and jellies, and even gathering and enjoying acorns the Native American way.